The more of it we can grab hold of, the richer our years will be. IT. Feeling Lost in Your 20s Why It's OK to Feel Lost. You can stay healthy though, which makes a big difference. I try not to listen because most give bad advice and make you feel like you were only meant to be average. Losing virginity in your 20s: Why I regret every second of it. When you leave the comfort of school, the future is a great big question mark. Shelby Seward. And even then it requires patience and luck. For me, it still happens that the things I used to enjoy become boring. My time is spent on reading, exercising, and trying to sound smart on Reddit. In popular psychology, a quarter-life crisis is a crisis "involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life" which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person's early twenties up to their mid-thirties (although a quarter-life crisis can begin as early as 18). Feeling Lost in Your 20s Why It's OK to Feel Lost. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. 9 Reasons Dating in Your 20s Is the Worst. In your 20s and 30s, divorce just isn’t something people do that much. June 26, 2018 by Ariana Dickson. So you are in your 20`s and have no idea what you are doing in life right now. Video by MWN. So you better get cracking in your 20s, at the latest. What was the last thing you worked on that you got excited about? Go to T.J. Maxx or Marshall’s and allow yourself to indulge in a cheap candle free-for-all (impose a budget of $15 and see what you can get). After that point, you pretty much need to be at least on a path towards a career, if for no other reason then because you need to start building a nest-egg for retirement. Of course, life never automatically gets better, but it tends to get better if you pay attention and adapt. Only your soul knows what you really want in life. So much more than you realize. It's now normal to go to school later, still be single, still be living with parents, be stuck (or feel stuck) career wise, pay off debts, and still feel stuck in the world. Find Counselling Photo by Andrew Draper on Unsplash. By Catherine Pearson. Not that that's a good thing. Hating your job sucks. I'm just going through the motions, nothing matters. The world is different than decades ago for 20-some year olds. I learned a lot about myself, I learned a lot about life, but most importantly I learned a lot about what I didn't like and didn't want out of life later. If you don't make any changes in your life, and continue with a job you hate that doesn't pay well, and you don't have anything outside of work you find satisfying, or people you enjoy being around, then things won't change. Press J to jump to the feed. No more overdoing it on wine and gossip on a Wednesday night when you're supposed to be getting work done at your friend's apartment. Here are the best and most universal tips that came up: 2. Wow, I had so much energy back then. Yes. It doesn't become easier but you become stronger. When my doctor found out I was 23 and a virgin, she told me I deserved a prize. Can I ask what were the specific expectations? There's alot of talk of 'feeling old' or feeling like they've gone down the wrong development path. Hey guys I hope you all your doing splendidly and have had an awesome new year. If this is something you’re going through – don’t give up. Get on a path where you are feeling good. I didn't care when I was younger. I know you still need to pay the bills, but try to take some time to find something to do career-wise that you really enjoy or from which you get great rewards. Edit: Grammar fix, but not the one suggested below. 4. "Average" isn't easy, it's really hard work. I think your feelings are quite normal at any age. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Let me give you an example of why I feel this way. That is what is so hard, choosing. Look, there are no guarantees. We turned to threads on Quora and Reddit, where users weighed in with their biggest regrets from their 20s. A dream? Speaking of a good mental state. I didn't go into debt, but then again what did I need to go into debt for anyway? We have to find new things. It feels like yesterday I was 23 and complaining that everyone at the bar looked like they were 21. I am 22 and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who had these feelings. You had great expectations. O ya that's lacking to. Look in to having the house gifted to you. You are someone who is trying to improve, and that’s a great quality. Her inspiring novel, #GIRLBOSS, is talking to those girls who are in the same position she was in in her early 20s. There are plenty of things you can do that require little to no money. Just because you feel lost right now doesn’t mean you are, ... but by the end of your 20s—and certainly by your 30s—you’re on a pretty clear career path. Finally, growth never ends. In your early 20s… I didn't get married till I was 35 and have only just had a child at 37, although those things aren't essentials so I wouldn't worry about it. Time to be more creative. I hate my job, I have no friends, I feel like I'm getting old, and I barely have enough money to do things. It isn't for everyone, so don't get worked up if it isn't for you. Ex. This year I met a woman who just started a year ago, and we had a blast playing together. Best of luck. It doesn’t help that everyone tells you that your 20s and 30s are supposed to be super stressful so you can get to the happy times later. Bam! There's great advice on how to make the most of your 20s from Quora and Reddit users. I want to commend you for staying by your moms side like that. Content Producer 1. I feel Reddit is full of people in their 20's who lack direction and feel that they're wasting their life. It's a fallacy, as is the idea that everything we do has to be meaningful or that we need to be a success. Thank you for this post. And yet here you are today: feeling lost. Yes, it’s confusing, frustrating, and has left me feeling lost. Here is some seasoned advice from the generation that has made mistakes and learned from them: On marriage; 2. At least for me, that decade was a fucking ordeal. You’re worthy right now. For what it's worth, I admire your for doing this. I lost my dad in december 2013 and your post put my feelings into words. Join a sport/club/group and make new ones. Share via facebook; Share via twitter; Share via whatsapp; SMS Share via SMS; Share via e-mail; Leave a comment. Like everyone around you. Absolutely. Yes. Every time I go to a new city I intentionally get lost. I felt lost in my early to mid 20s because I kept wanting to chop and change. If you’re currently struggling through your 20s or 30s, you’re not alone. The upshot of this trend, however, is that it can be even more intimidating now to come out later than average, for example towards the end of your 20s, or in your 30s, 40s or 50s. When you’re this young, the number one thing you should focus on is executing on the most high risk behaviors of your life. Do you have a passion? I wanted to perpetually keep my options open. Turing 25 is sorta cool. Cookies help us deliver our Services. ‘The Defining Decade’ Is Helping You Not Feel so Lost in Your 20s. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Jammed on old classics and taught her a couple of tricks. Just dont let it be the only thing you think about. For example, I've played guitar since I was around 12. Society is the biggest letdown. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Miley Cyrus is doing it as I write this. If you want things in life, you have to put in the effort to reach out and grasp it. This lie will cause you to think that your life is pointless. There is a terrible lie that everyone should find work that fulfills them personally and spiritually and that if what they do for money isnt as exciting as skydiving and as fulfilling as reuniting long lost twins then youre just wasting your life. "Having money isn't everything; not having it is.". And that is the thing, it is up to you to make these changes. ... Facebook Twitter Google Pinterest Reddit Tumblr. You are not required to do these things if you don't want to do them. You are a good person. June 26, 2018 by Ariana Dickson. The reality is, most 57-year-olds don’t even have their lives figured out. Start learning to save even in your 20s so you can feel ready when retirement comes around. It sounds like your work is not satisfying and you may have to do a very difficult thing - start searching for a new job or a new career. You actually know how to pay your taxes correctly now, and you finally go to a doctor that isn’t your pediatrician! Her parents didn’t raise her with any strict views on sex before marriage, or with the sense that it was a bad thing. They still do. Invest some time in practicing mindfulness and meditation. Nowadays I'll power on my SNES maybe once every few weeks for a little Mario Kart and thats enough. Whilst the MSc eventually worked out, I was 29 before I started the career path I am currently on. The number of friends isn't as important, it's the QUALITY of those friendships that matter. And her book easily proves that success isn’t about where you went to college or how popular you were in school. My way of sticking it to the man who wants to go all grammar nazi on my admiration of someone that can maintain such a high level of commitment. it really helped me Most of us are still in the getting-married phase of life. Giving less fucks about shit that didn't actually matter helped a great deal for my overall well-being. If you think you’re the only one lost in your 20s, think again. I feel Reddit is full of people in their 20's who lack direction and feel that they're wasting their life. People who change jobs build their skills and their network faster than people who stay in jobs in the name of loyalty or sticking it out. Here are some steps I’ve taken to finally find a sense of direction and purpose that should help you, if you’re feeling lost in your 20s. It doesn't mean your life is doomed and that you will never find yourself again. Look for fun things to do where you can meet new people of similar age and station in life. Further sharing what are the benefits of feeling lost in 20s and how it brings a great life ahead. Feeling Lonely In Your 20s? Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else. Didn't play a single riff for months at a time. You’re Not Alone. It's totally normal. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Another biggie. Money is important, yes. I'm chasing my dreams but I still have my doubts. 30 May, 2018 by Ariana Dickson. Get used to it because it won't stop. It really fucking sucks when 99% of your problems in life that cause you to cry yourself to sleep at night, are from not having enough money to fix them. DO. Just throw some food and water in a bag and go walk in the woods. 10. Do you even want one? And yet here you are today: feeling lost. It … The world owes you nothing. The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck pretty much sums it up. I feel less alone now. If you just continue on as you are, things won't change. There may still be ways to meet those expectations, or you might want to change those expectations and move on. Life is really long, you'll have the rest of your life to worry about it and then is when it matters anyway. Fuck. As your friends – if you have any of those left – hand you your 25 th birthday cards, you are filled with dread as you realise at least 25 per cent of your life has gone. The majority of my 20s was spent in call centre jobs, education and the pub. My outlook on life has become very bleak and the things I used to enjoy has become boring. That sucks. You had great expectations. Another comment stated you aren't REQUIRED to start a family. You don’t need to pay off your student loans first, or be better at making conversation, or lose twenty pounds. Maybe find a better job or move to a nicer place. SHARE. I mean, yes, of course people get divorced at my age. I feel a lot of pressure to get my life and career going. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Don't waste your 20s or your youth fretting over this or that. 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